To date or not to date? This is a tough question that single parents must answer for themselves. If you have decided that you are ready to enter the dating scene, you will need to prepare yourself and your child for this new part of your life.
It doesn't matter whether you are casually dating or are looking for a new person to parent with – your child is involved and that means there are some important things you need to consider. Here are five tips for single parents who are entering the dating scene.
1. Always keep your child in mind.
Understand that the bond between you and your child will outlast any relationship. It has more depth and importance than your dating life, and should be treated with the same respect. Make sure to explain to your child, in an age appropriate way, what dating is all about and how things in their life will change. Emphasize the ways things will stay the same (like you will always love them the same). Explain, in a way that feels appropriate to you, that grown ups need companionship.
2. Present yourself as an entire package.
Any person whom you are dating has to understand that your role as a parent is important. If they try to minimize that role or try to move you away from it, think twice about going any further in the relationship. Any prospective partner should have respect for you and the realities of your life. This also means that you should be open and honest about your children. Present yourself as a single parent. If it's a deal breaker for a potential love interest, they weren't worth it. If you want to try online dating, do keep in mind that some online dating services, such as Matchmaker.com, cater to a more mature audience (typically 30 or older) that are focused on finidng more serious long-term relationships. EHarmony and Yahoo Personals are also reputable choices. (Click the links above for current coupons and free trial offers to these dating sites).
3. Introduce new friends slowly.
Some single parents are so eager to set up a two-parent household that they end up going too fast with the relationship. In a matter of weeks, their new love interest is spending lots of time at the house and the child is beginning to think of the love interest as a parent. When the relationship ends, the child feels loss and confusion over the role of the adults in their life. Keep your relationships separate from your child until it is natural for the new person to come into their life. This way, you minimize the change that a child experiences when you have several people coming through your home.
4. Make time for yourself.
Between your child, your job and your new dating life, your "me time" may get lost in the mix. Don't forget to take time to pamper yourself and address your needs. If you're refreshed and relax, you'll be better able to give all that you can to the other people in your life.
5. Listen to your children.
Children are very perceptive when it comes to people. If they dislike the person you are dating or seem uncomfortable around them, pick up on these clues. The new person in your life may be hiding something from you or might cause a rift between you and your child.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Are You a Single Parent Dating? Here Are 5 Tips
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