by Dean Cortez, Mack Tactics Dating Instructor
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Hi Dean,
I’ve read your books, watched your awesome instructional videos, and learned some killer strategies for how to pick up a hot girl. And they really worked wonders. I've been dating a smart, beautiful girl for several weeks. The only problem is her chump ex-boyfriend, who’s still obsessed with her and keeps trying to get back with her. She says it’s over between them, but sometimes when we’re together he calls her and starts saying he can’t live without her, he just wants one more chance, blah blah, and then she gets all upset and emotional and it ruins our evening. I have to keep reminded her why they broke up -- the guy is a loser who cheated on her! So then why is she still worrying about him? And how do I get him out of the picture?
Jason
Miami, FL
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Dean Cortez here with some special dating tactics for this situation...
Remember that as a Mack, you've always got to project strength and security to women. This means being firm and decisive whenever she is experiencing conflicting emotions. (Which, due to the delicate emotional nature of women, is bound to happen on a regular basis.)
She looks to you to provide this strength. In fact, women will frequently TEST you to see if you're "man" enough to show this strength.When you fail to do this, she's not going to feel secure around you and her attraction will diminish.
At this juncture, you're facing an important test. How you react is going to determine whether her attraction towards you grows deeper, or whether she feels you’re emotionally weak. (And believe me, every time she blabs to her ex on the phone while you’re sitting there twiddling your thumbs, it makes you look really weak.)
Weakness in the presence of women comes in many forms. One of the most common is the inability to be decisive, as demonstrated in the following phone conversation…
HIM: I was thinking if you’re free tonight, maybe we could do something...
HER: What do you have in mind?
HIM: Umm, I'm not sure. Maybe see a movie?
HER: Are there any good movies playing?
HIM: I could check...what type of movie do you like?
HER: Well, I really like scary movies. What about you?
HIM: Um, scary movies, action, comedies, whatever. I know there’s this new movie with Eddie Murphy…
HER: Oh yeah, I saw the commercial. It looks sort of lame.
HIM: Yeah, I thought the same thing.
HER: I'm kind of hungry, do you want to go get something to eat?
HIM: Sure. Where do you want to go?
HER: What kind of food is your favorite?
HIM: All kinds. What do you like?
This conversation could go in circles for a half-hour without any type of game plan being formulated. Does this sound to you like a MAN who is going to make a woman feel secure and protected? Being indecisive about picking a restaurant or a movie might seem minor. But when a woman is evaluating you as a potential mate, she needs to know that you are capable of making decisions and leading the way.
The Mack would have the plan worked out before he calls:
HIM: So, Amanda, you mentioned you don’t have work on Friday night. There’s a place I’m going to take you to eat that I know you’re going to love, and then we’re going to see this new movie that I heard is incredible. I'll be at your place at eight o'clock, we're going to have a great time.
HER: Sounds great, see you then.
In your situation, Jason, it’s important to be decisive about her ex-boyfriend drama. If she’s taking phone calls from him while she’s out with you, then obviously she still has feelings for the guy that she needs to work out. Don’t try to make her “choose,” and don’t make disparaging remarks about her ex because this might cause her to start defending him. Don't get caught up in the drama -- you want to be above it.
HER: My ex keeps calling me. He's not such a bad guy, I feel bad for him. I'm not sure what to do.
YOU: You know what Michelle? I think you should talk to him tomorrow, when we’re not together, and work that situation out because I know you’re ready to move on. Take some time with it if you need to. I'll be here for you if you need me, but just let me know when you've worked it all out.
This reply show a lot of confidence. You’re not acting worried about losing her. If she does go back to that wimp, you know she’s not the kind of girl you should be with anyway. What makes the average guy stress out in this situation is his scarcity mentality: he fears he’s going to lose her and will jump through hoops to hang on.
The confident man, on the other hand, maintains a mentality of abundance. He knows there’s no shortage of beautiful, drama-free women who respect him and his time. He is telling her how it's going to be -- she will either move past her ex boyfriend, or he is going to move past her.
Be decisive and certain about your world. Women are bound to get emotional and anxious at times, and when they go into that state, demonstrating firmess and certainty is what will bond them to you.
If you're ready to turbo-charge your dating game with women, and become the ultra-confident, attractive man that makes the ladies feel instant attraction, visit MackTactics.com for the best dating advice and more than 101 high-powered strategies and techniques for getting the women you want and deserve.
Your Wingman,
Dean Cortez
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